Thursday, May 2, 2013

Rapture - Christopher Rouse

This is one of my most favorite orchestral piece of the 21th century.
To write is to receive,
All the shimmering impulses that have striven to deceive
To the rite I should have never left,
I surrender the rights I've always tried to believe
Is the idea too naive to perceive, while,
Sometimes lasts way longer than the native, so I suppose,
The realm of the ancient reef belongs to one with the only gift,
No one should ever think that'd be the sky one could achieve
It's yet too bright, for the thief to sneak into the darkness of the farmer's piling leaf

So let us just give in to the dream of the wind

To sing is to stay in still,
Like eel that churns in raging thrill
Let's get in deal with that will,
That blame the lane of stuttering drill, so,
Real, is doubt I always feel, and by,
Kneel, I hang my nights, 'till,
Heal, could soar and open the seal
So I kill, the bill that gnaw my only heel, so pardon me,
If I squeal, 'till the thrill takes our deal,
And for real, all my heal seal in still

So just let's give in to the dream in the wind


Aku bergumam bisu dalam nada, namun tak juga ada melodi yang terbesit,
setelah ku tunggu sejak teriknya malam
Ya, malam. Malam yang mengikis teriknya sang siang
Kian ku berdiam dala hening, kian ku menari dalam bahasa yang berjejal dalam 
kejejakaan emosi
Lama sederet nada memenjara, terlampau vokal berbicara menentang keanggunan bahasa
Lama sederet bunyi berembuk menolak barisan kata

Aku bukan hamba nada, 
Tak mau juga aku jadi pelayan sastra
T'lah lalu aku berpikir bahwa aku ini kuli emosi 
Yang bersembunyi di balik remangan abstraksi
Bukan karena ku takut akan cahaya kegamblangan
Semata, tak ada cukup nada dan kata sanggup menyingkap dan jelaskan kerumitan emosi
yang berkarat di sudut tembokan hati

Namun betapa egois diriku
Menjadi kuli emosi yang menyusun kata-kata bak batu bata
Merekatnya dengan adukan tata bahasa 
yang tak ubahnya menjadi gubuk-gubuk angus yang bertebaran di sela-sela kemayaan rasa

Egois aku 
Menjadi kulis emosi
yang mencari nada dalam setiap gaya yang bergetar
Menyelaraskan waktu seperti bumi yang terus berputar
Namun tak juga ada yang mengerti segala pengaduan yang coba ku hantar


Ingin aku coba memahami mengapa semua itu terasa begitu E G O I S
Aku sekedar ingin hidup berpesan pada kehenigan,
bahwa ada manusia yang paling tidak ingin juga menghargainya

Ini pengakuannu pada Sang Hening:

Sang Hening,
Aku ingin berdiam dalam mu
Aku menikmati saat birahimu menembus indra ku
Aku bernyanyi, aku berpuisi, bukan karena aku benci pada mu
Namun karena dalam kemegahan mu saja, aku bisa berdoa

Dalam mu, 
Bisa aku mendengar semua nada yang perlu ku dengar
Bisa aku mendengar lagu yang sangat ingin ku dengar
Bisa juga aku mendengar ceramah terjujur yang perlu semua orang dengar

Sang Hening,
Kalau aku boleh berpinta,
Ijinkan aku s'lalu diam bersama mu sepanjang hari 
Walau aku tak lagi berpejam mata
Walau aku tak lagi bermenung dalam keberpihakan gerak, dan
Walau aku tak lagi katupkan telinga dan pita suara,

Ijinkan aku bersetubuh dengan mu dalam pikir ku
Benamkan aku dalam kesunyian mu, 
Saat aku bernyanyi, saat aku bicara, saat aku bergumam, 
Bahkan saat ku harus berteriak

Sang Hening, 
Ijinkan aku mendengar selalu,
Lagu yang perlu ku dengar, 
Ceramah yang perlu ku simak,

Dalam sorak-sorai mu,
Pintaku Sang Hening!

Besuk Asa - Singgahi Hati

What is Besuk Asa, Singgahi Hati means?

In English, it literally means "Visit Hope, Drop by (Stop by) the Heart."
All I mean by this, is for people to once in a while to re-visit what you genuinely hope for,
and to drop by your very thought, the one which doesn't lie and is not deceitful - we usually called our Heart.
Singgah is really just like drop by somebody's house. Besuk is also a short visit, but usually used to express a short visit to somebody who is sick or something.  I am not interested in defining all these terms right now. But what I really mean by giving this title is this:

Many times we are trapped in our everyday life, work, school, relationship, family, and whatever.
To escape all those things, some people flee art, religion, self-help books/videos, youtube, and whatever.
But when you come back, you'll find yourself do pretty much nothing but adding up some gas for you to drive another moment of your life. I am curious, if we ever take a moment to meditate in silence(please don't take this letter-by-letter) and think what your purpose today in participating in this world is. Do we ever drop by at our heart and see what we really hope for and believe in, despite all project we currently work on, despite movies we just watched, books we happened to just read, music we just listened or played, and sermon we just focused on, an so on. Even despite all feelings you just felt. May be there is something lies beneath everyone which just happen to be ignored but always effect the way we act, think, and feel. Hmm, just think about it for a second. I'm afraid that we ignore it because ideologies we have agreed to believe or because we think we are not able enough to let it grow. I even get confused what I really meant by it. But I hope you, at least, sense what I (am trying to) depict.

So, just let's do it! Let see how far and how deep we can go!

Besuk Asa

Welcome to Besuk Asa

This is a new Blog, apparently.

Created by an Indonesian who attempts to live in the new world people often call a Virtual World.
Nothing is interesting you will find in this Blog, other than the honesty and the willingness to explore our mysterious world. Not only our physical world we call Earth, I suppose, but also
world of linguistic,
world of music,
world of painting and sculpture,
world of architecture,
world of biology,
world of chemistry,
world of physics,
world of  astronomy,
world of politics,
world of engineering,
world of psychology,
world of sociology,
world of knowledge,
world of belief,

world of philosophy,
world of mere logic,

world of diversity,
world of others,
world of I-ness,
world of You-ness,
world of (let's add the list y'all!)

After lengthy and ambitious work on SEVEN freakin'  essays over one excitin' semester, I start realizing how great the experience of writing and just simply thinking is. I have been writing poems and lyrics for myself since forever, but never really grow excitement in writing like ever before. As always, whenever I walk home, ride my bike, ride on a bus, and just ponder around, my brain just keeps vamping around thoughts, sometimes start from anger, confusion, annoyance, hope, curiosity, encouragement, academic, rational, imagination, ideal, factual, etc. to just something completely the opposite. It can go pretty much to infinity, matter-wise and time-wise, if only I got nothing to do but vamp around thoughts. But when you are thinking in order to write, you'll find not only a vehicle to express your crazy and abstract thoughts,  but you'll find a medium to stop and evaluate your every thoughts - you have to stop, at least, to find words to express you thoughts. That is my experience.

I warmly welcome everybody who (at least, try to be) mature and smart enough to write, to comment, to make this part of their free time or even place to brainstorm ideas for your academic essay, your personal essay, your artistic writing, or merely your thinking enjoyment. I welcome you guys who are assigned to write an essay to post you essay here for people to give feedback or just proof-read  it before/after you submit it. Or to you guys who try to find ideas for your artistic project. Make yourself at home!

So, welcome home,
Besuk Asa